hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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