She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think I am morally bankrupt
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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