I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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