My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
smell my finger.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
