Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
