Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
