She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
