everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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