When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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