How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
