Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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