so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So many bounce houses so little time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
