just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
