I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
