My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
