some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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