Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
