his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
A bitchslap is in order.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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