# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
