So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
