He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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