based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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