Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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