Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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