Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
