Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
