She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
