I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
