susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
