i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
