i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
