He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
