so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
