I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
