I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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