My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
