Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
