So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
