Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
