I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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