Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
