just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
