My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
