There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
