I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
