Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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