I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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