youre lurking in front of me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
