The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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