Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
