you're like a bully in the Christmas story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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