I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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